Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I'm not even going to get mad anymore. I'm just going to learn to expect the lowest out of the people I thought the highest of.
if you ask why i'm not interested in someone, i might say their nose is too big, or they don't know how to dress, or they're too thin or too fat or too plain. but the truth is, i only notice those things because of the real reason--that i'm just not feeling anything. but people don't want to hear that. they always want an explanation. so i have to come up with something concrete even though feelings aren't like that. if i did meet a guy and i felt happy with him for whatever reason, i wouldn't give a rat's ass what he wore or how tall he was or what he did for a living. but when i'm with someone and it just doesn't feel right, that's when i start noticing the bad haircut or Chicago accent or unibrow. and it's true that tomorrow i may go home with someone who you think is totally wrong for me. and the next day i might meet a perfectly nice guy who you think i should feel excited about, but i don't. but if i do go home with someone, it means for a change, something feels right. for a change, i'm feeling hopeful. i just want to feel happy when i'm with someone. is that so wrong?

Monday, October 11, 2010

I'm in a "have to listen sad songs" mood.

This one always gets to me:
Flipsyde - happy birthday.

Friday, October 8, 2010